Thursday, April 22, 2010

Attack of the Whining Pussies

There is a storm gathering in America. Its winds are blowing from Alaska to Florida, from California to Maine, and Florida to New York. This storm and its winds are spreading across the country like a coordinated series of loud farts.

The tea-partiers made a huge statement this week. Nobody is quite clear what that statement was exactly. It was really just a lot of noise.

The Government is Swallowing the Entire Health Insurance Industry
Those evil bastards. How dare they… the gall of them to think that the government can administer health insurance cheaper and more effectively than private industry. Most of the folks in that protest are either old enough or crazy enough to have the evil federal government administer their health insurance... and they love it. The rest of them were mad because now everyone will be forced to buy health insurance.
"Damn socialists. If only this wasn’t originally a Republican proposal, we’d actually have a point!”
Taxes
These same people are saying they’re being “taxed enough already.” The problem is that taxes have only gotten lower, which they should love.

Incidentally, some might put the point forward that because federal taxes are too low, state and local taxes need to be raised to remedy the shortfall created by this terrible economy. Those people are evil. Of course, you can only cut taxes so much before you don’t have any government revenue to provide for the common good, unless you don’t care about the common good.

The White House is now entertaining the concept of a “value-added” tax. Most of Europe has the tax and it seems to work pretty well. Of course the idea of actually raising money by being fiscally responsible (e.g., earning the revenue before you spend it, say on two wars…) is so abhorrent that the President has dismissed it out of hand… a little bit.

The Senate has passed a resolution (85-13) stating that a value added tax is "a massive tax increase that will cripple families on fixed income and only further push back America's economic recovery." Now that’s a bold statement. Incidentally, directly after that vote, the Senate passed a resolution (78-22) that “cancer is bad.” (Question: Why did Bernie Sanders vote no on both?)

Gun Control
Then we have the gun-nuts. On April 19th, they gathered in areas in and around D.C. to protest the new gun laws that don’t actually exist. In fact, and this has been pointed out by pundits who are much smarter (and more responsive) than I, that the only reason they are allowed to carry guns at their protests is because Obama has expanded gun rights to allow them to carry in national parks. 

By the way, if anyone ever showed up at an anti-Bush rally with a gun, he would have been immediately arrested, thrown into a government van, and shipped off to a black prison in Uzbekistan.  In that prison, he would be boiled to death and fed to the other prisoners who are waiting to be boiled to death.

The President, Speaker of the House and the Senate Majority Leader are all Communists and Fascists
The thing about communism and fascism -- you may surmise that the two are very different. Communism has the philosophy of servitude to the state while conforming to a set of communal ideals which stresses collective action. They have a command economy that is controlled centrally.
Fascist philosophy involves servitude to the leader as a representation of a specific race or nationalist movement that commands uniformity and decries individuality. They have free markets… for those who are recognized as not being enemies of the state and sent to death camps.
The only thing they have in common is that both are ruled centrally by a corrupt, oppressive, unelected, non-representative leadership. This is the major quality of authoritarianism or totalitarianism. Are you listening Tea Partiers?

Our president was elected by both electoral and popular majority. So there. Learn the difference.
There was another president that was elected without popular majority, and as it turned out, not really electoral majority? In fact, as it turned out, this president was elected out of a majority of nine un-elected officials. Can you guess who that was? Does a specific name come to mind? We don’t need to name names, do we? One question… where were you then? Where were the threats of violent revolution?



The Right Wing Echo Chamber Response to the Mainstream Media Coverage
Fox News asks the question, “Why doesn’t the mainstream media show the crazies in the left-wing protests like they do in the right-wing protests?”

For years I couldn’t answer this question… mostly because it wasn’t true. It's different these days, in that it is true -- the nutty right-wing protesters are definitely being shown on TV more than the nutty left-wing protesters. 

Want to know the reason why? The answer is profound. Are you ready? There is a very big difference between left wing and right wing protests.

The difference between left-wing protests and right-wing protests is that right-wing protesters are armed.

Guns and angry people who carry them will always attract more attention. While I may be worried that an unwashed hippie might attack me with a burning flag, I am ten times as worried that an unwashed hick will blow my head off for being a Jew. I don’t think I’m out of line in saying this.

So, Fox News, as my teachers used to tell me, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people. If I thought you didn’t know any better, I’d think you were stupid. I know you’re not stupid… you’re just incredibly disingenuous. Knowing the answer to your question and feigning being confounded by it just shows how stupid you think your audience is… and you’re right… your audience is incredibly stupid.

What is truly confounding is that most tea-partiers are fervently anti-Gay… yet they dress up in costumes and go on parades. Why don't you ask that question, douchebags?



Finally, I have to say that it's strange that these people feel that they are being taxed "without representation."  We have elections constantly.  It's almost annoying.  You're represented just like the rest of us.  You just lost this time, you whiny bitches.  Grow up.

Anyway, I loved the protests.  It is great to see crazy people, armed or not, if only to make sure they are not related to you... or live next door.  

Postscript:  Sorry about the wait in between posts.  I had to get my shit together. I also want to apologize for the obvious rustiness.  I'll get back to form soon.