Why is it that people relate to Sarah Palin? Well why do you think, you smug bastard?
Wow, you’re irritating! Is there nothing you can say that doesn’t have attitude? Can you issue a single declarative sentence without asking a silly, rhetorical question? (Uh, ok. Guilty.)
There is nothing more aggravating than a person saying something you don’t agree with and also being smug about it. I didn’t like Donald Rumsfeld because he believed that we couldn’t be safe without invading Iraq. I hated him because he treated those who questioned him as though their dogs took a series of big, steaming craps on his front porch… and then he would wink at the people who asked him the softball questions.
Ha, look at this guy! What a ‘tard! How did he even get in here?
I see the same thing in Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck, although frankly, they’re more racist and insane than smug. I also see the smugness in the MSNBC TV hosts, especially Keith Olbermann, Rachel Maddow and that weird freakshow, Ed Schultz. (Where did he come from exactly?) I mean, I enjoy their shows because I agree with them, but they sure don’t make it easy sometimes.
Special note to Olbermann: You need to laugh at the answers your guests give you, Keith, not your own questions.
This kind of smugness on the liberal end has leaked into the actual political arena. Last week, I saw Florida Congressman Alan Grayson on Hardball with Chris Mathews. When Chris Mathews asked him what he thought of Dick Cheney (also guilty) badmouthing the president, Congressman Grayson said that Cheney should “stfu.” Mathews didn’t get the reference and asked him what it meant. Grayson smirked and hinted at it by saying the first letter stood for “shut.”
Honestly, it’s no wonder conservative folks hate us. We’re unbearable. And that’s the thing. We need to be bearable. Being bearable is the only way you can win elections.
If there is one thing Sarah Palin has over us liberals, it’s that she isn’t smug. Sure, she may not have the capacity. She’s not very smart. Most dumb people aren’t smug. Most.
When Bush was first elected in 2000, many people said that Bush was “the candidate you’d most want to have a beer with.” The fact that Bush was an alcoholic and he didn’t drink anymore obviously didn’t enter into it. But Dubya never made you feel stupid in a conversation. Dubya never made fun of you. Why? Dubya had really low standards. He put his dad’s friend on the VP ticket and tried to nominate his own lawyer for the Supreme Court. If you were around, you could win a prize. It reminded me of those stories about Elvis ripping his own jewelry off and giving it to his fans for no other reason than because they were there. What a guy.
Palin is much less charming, and undeniably crazier. It’s one thing to deny climate change and try to cover it up. It’s a whole lot different when you acknowledge climate change and don’t care why it’s actually happening because the rapture is coming…
She might be judgmental, but that’s only because she’s mental. Everybody knows she’s mental, so nobody takes it seriously.
Nobody wants to have a beer with this woman either. Nobody. Take one look at her and you can tell that after one beer she’ll start hollering uncontrollably until she does a body shot out of another girl’s navel and throws up all over the bar. That girl is off the hook.
But she’s not going to call you stupid.
And she smiles. It may be a smile with the craziest eyes this side of Anne Ramsey (see below), but it’s a smile. She’s not smarter than you. She doesn’t challenge you. Her standards are reallllllyyyy lowwww.
So that’s why I like her. Of course, I’m smart enough not to vote for her. Keep that in mind, too.
So when your friends, who perhaps aren’t as swift as you, tell you how much they love that "Sarah spirit," tell them you understand but that Sarah has rabies and a tattoo on her back that says, “I (heart) Satan.” Tell them that God came to you in a dream and told you, through the Archangel Metatron, that Sarah Palin is the anti-Christ and breathes pure hellfire. Tell them that Sarah's urine turns roses into weeds and her kisses give babies skin cancer. That might be the only way those idiot friends of yours will listen to you...
Sorry. I couldn’t help myself. It's harder than it looks. Somebody better call the smug police.
2 comments:
As brilliant and persuasive as you are, I still like Anne Ramsey much better. Ja.
This is inspirational. I would like to see "Throw Mama from the Train 2," starring Bristol, Willow, Piper and Track. "Bristol loves her momma." >clink< (hits Palin over head with frying pan).
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