Fun with Israeli Hate Cartoons

This morning I woke up to find a strange, hateful, political cartoon on my facebook news feed page that wasn't American.  

Regrettably, I don't speak Hebrew anymore.  I had to ask my always helpful Israeli cousin for the translation, which reads, "If you will it, it is no dream," which for those of you who haven't seen The Big Lebowski, is a famous quote by Theodor Hertzl, the quasi-George Washington of the State of Israel.  Supposedly, this cartoon depicts Ol' Man Hertzl stabbing a present-day, left-wing, female, Israeli politician, who is depicted as a dragon.  

Now, I am from the school that you never make fun of a woman's looks (unless that woman is Sarah Palin).  It is rude and ungentlemanly.  It is also a no-no for me to depict cartoon violence against an actual person, and even more so, a woman.  It gives me the creeps.  

I'm also not a bonafide Israeli history buff, but from what I remember from Hebrew school, Hertzl was remembered more for his vision and leadership, not for his spearmanship or stabbing ability.  I would have remembered that.  They were really into teaching us smiting at Hebrew school.

But the worst part of this cartoon isn't its intent, but, and please forgive the pun, its execution.  I have no idea who these people are, but I should be able to tell what's going on, at least in a general sense.  I can't.  I had to find out in an article what was actually happening in that cartoon.  Does that even look like a sword or spear to you?  Is there any expression at all on Hertzl's face?  Why is the dragon bleeding water?  In American political cartoons, if the identity of a character is not apparent, his name will be written on or next to him.  Not here.  Hertzl looks like your average depiction of a Hasidic Jew here.  Sure, the "If you build it, he will come" text may make him slightly easier to identify, but overall, this cartoon is what a critic might call "piss-poor."

On the other side of the coin, my inability to read Hebrew and the vagueness of the events of this cartoon allow me to insert my own translated captions.  Enjoy.

 

"I'm not touching you with a ten-foot pole until you pop that thing!"

"I know we're alone, but this is still the only way we can dance together!"

"Nobody will do the Limbo until you tuck in your tail!"

"Fine, the next time we role-play, I'll be the dragon and you can be St. George.
That costume doesn't even fit me anyway.  We look ridiculous like this!"

I invite you all to write your own captions for this hideous piece of artwork.  It's not a contest because I don't have a prize to give you, but why not compete out of a sense of sport.

 

"Mom, I did my homework.  Let me go pole vault!"

See, the possibilities are endless.